Back to Me
by janie17
Summary: your basic CoE fix-it, Ianto wakes up after the events at Thames House. Warnings: unintended Gwen bashing? (maybe? i dont know how to write her to be not annoying...), slight cursing. One-shot.


A/n: I got the idea for this story when I was getting ready to go to Cardiff under the pretence of visiting my aunt. (Really I was there to go to the Plass and say goodbye to Ianto, put a note on the memorial to him. I am still seriously messed up over the death of an imaginary character years later and it's not cool.) So, join me in denying the second half of CoE! I hope you like it; leave a review if you would!  
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood, its characters, nor its affiliates and I make no profit from this story except for a personal joy.

* * *

The last thing he remembered was the pained look in Jack's eyes, and his voice promising he would never forget him, followed by darkness. The darkness was all at once full and empty, thick with mass, yet also deserted. The darkness was all he was aware of. Time, if it hadn't simply stopped, had ceased to matter. Then it all came slamming back. Ianto woke with a gasp, eyes flying open and body lurching forward. He shuddered in pain, his whole body feeling stiff as a board. He tried to even his breathing; his lungs felt as if they were on fire, making every heaving breath tear through his chest. Slowly he became aware of the voice speaking to him and turned his head slightly.

"Ianto! You're…you woke up!" Jack was looking at him with wide, teary eyes. Ianto realised that the older man was holding his hand. He gave it a soft squeeze.

"Was there any doubt I would?" the younger man said, attempting to make a joke. It fell flat. Jack smiled, placing his free hand onto the man's face before leaning in and kissing him gently.

"Thank you for coming back to me," he murmured against his lips. He pulled away at the sound of footsteps approaching.

"Jack?" a voice called out. "I thought I heard—" Gwen stopped dead in her tracks, staring at Ianto who was now struggling into a seated position from where he lay. "Ianto!" She hurried forward, pulling him into a hug. Leaning away she said, "But you were dead! How did—" She was cut off by Jack loudly clearing his throat. She wanted to ask how he was sitting there alive, but took the rather obvious hint from Jack and settled for asking, "How would you like a cup of tea?"

"That sounds great."

She smiled. "Okay, I'll go put the kettle on," she replied, walking away, but not until after shooting a confused look toward the other man.

"So, erm," Ianto started, voice scratchy. He cleared his throat. "How long was I…" His sentence trailed off as he avoided saying the word so clearly in his mind: dead. He'd been dead.

"Only a couple of course. But long enough for Gwen to give up waiting." Jack rubbed his face with the hand not holding Ianto's. "Long enough to scare me," he added softly. "So much longer than last time."

The younger man smiled sadly. "So there was a last time. I'd never really been sure if I had dreamed it or if it had really happened. Though I suppose it makes sense really."

"It does?"

"Of course." He smiled. "You've gotten spoiled having me around to make coffee and clean up after your messes—both literally and figuratively. The universe, in turn, couldn't imagine you getting along without me anymore."

"Truthfully, I couldn't imagine it either." Jack cleared his throat, changing the subject. "Just so you know, the 456 were neutralized not long after…well, after, by UNIT. The kids are all okay."

Ianto breathed a sigh of relief before his gut twisted painfully. He'd forgotten about them. In the shock of waking up from the dead he had managed to forget about the children, the ones he had died trying to save. He forced the guilt away, placing it in the same dark corner where he kept the memory of Lisa's death. The older man frowned, gently rubbing his thumb across Ianto's forehead as if to wipe away the troubled thoughts before he cupped his cheek.

"Oh, Ianto," Jack sighed, a twitch of a smile crossing his lips as his young companion leaned into the touch. "I'm so sorry. I let you get hurt and it is all my fault for letting you go in there with me. I should have done it alone."

"Jack," the younger man said sternly, "you can't blame yourself for what happened. It wasn't your fault."

"I shouldn't have let you go in there. I should have known what would happen." Jack frowned at the snort of laughter that met his words. "What's so funny?" he said sarcastically though with a playful glint in his eyes.

Smirking, Ianto replied, "I'm a grown man; and you are my boyfriend, not my father. You don't _let_ me do anything."

"Boyfriend, huh?" Jack chuckled. "I thought we weren't a couple." Seeing the younger man's growing frown, he added with a sigh, "But I guess we weren't fooling anyone by saying that. Didn't even fool ourselves, not really."

The pause in the conversation stretched, growing tense before it was interrupted by Gwen. "Here we are, then," she said with a forced cheeriness as she set down the mugs on the nearby table. Oblivious to the tension in the air, the dark-haired woman asked the younger man, "How are you feeling, love?"

"A bit sore," Ianto replied, "but that is probably to be expected, considering." He ended the sentence with a shrug of his shoulders. "Really I am just glad to be here," he added a moment later before taking a sip of the tea. "Cheers," he said with a nod, enjoying the feel of the hot liquid o his dry throat.

"We're glad you're here too. Right Gwen?" Jack said to the woman.

The brunette nodded. "Of course." She looked for a moment between the two men. "I'm glad you're all right, Ianto. I know Rhys will be pleased as well."

* * *

As the door closed behind them, Ianto rested his head on Jack's shoulder, arms wrapping around the man's waist as he sagged slightly against him. He sighed happily as the man held him tightly.

"I've never been so happy to see the inside of this flat," Jack said into his lover's hair. "Hungry?" he asked.

"Famished." Ianto pulled out of the embrace. "Why don't you figure out the food situation while I go change and take a quick shower. I've got to get out of these clothes." Unbuttoning as he walked, Ianto was nearly out of his shirt by time he reached his bedroom. He let the soiled fabric crumple to the floor carelessly. His clothes were normally treated with the same care he showed to all things in his life, but he couldn't be bothered. After all, he had died in that suit—even if it hadn't been permanent.

He held back the questions the day had raised, sliding underneath the hot water falling from the shower head. Not even ten minutes later he walked back into the kitchen wearing a t-shirt and pyjama bottoms. He tossed a small stack of clothes at Jack who caught them easily. "It's lucky you left a few things here," the younger man said, "what with the Hub…"

"Having been blown to pieces?" Jack suggested.

"Exactly." Ianto sighed. "I'm so sorry this happened," he said softly.

"Don't be. None of it was your fault. Thanks for grabbing me a change of outfit. Wasn't much in the cupboards so I went ahead and ordered take-away; I hope that's all right."

Ianto nodded, "Sounds perfect." He wandered over to the living room, collapsing onto the couch as Jack changed. By time the man returned to the room he was deep in thought and mentally miles away. The younger man didn't notice as Jack sat down beside him, and he started slightly as an arm went around his shoulders.

"How are you holding up, Ianto?" Jack asked softly. He ran his thumb in soothing circles against the man's soft, pale skin under the sleeve of his shirt. He smiled softly as Ianto turned his head, looking him in the eyes.

"Better than I could be." His own answering smile seemed as if it had given up on itself halfway through the gesture and didn't reach his eyes. "It's just not something I had ever thought could happen. I mean, I was dead. Legitimately call the coroner and stick me in the freezer next to Suzie, dead. It's fucking insane." He gave a humourless laugh. "Though I do recall saying that I wish I could understand what you go through with each death. The phrase, 'Be careful what you wish for,' comes to mind."

"Jesus," Jack muttered.

Ianto shook his head, a real smile crossed his face as he took the man's hands in his own. "You don't have to worry, you know. I'll be alright. It isn't like being alive is a bad thing."

"Oh, I know," the man replied. "You're too stubborn to not be okay in the end. You'd never allow it." Ianto snorted in affirmation.

"You're probably right." He paused a moment thinking. "Jack?"

"Yeah, Ianto?"

"How do you think it happened? I mean, you said it happened to you because Rose took on part of the TARDIS, but that didn't happen this time." Ianto's brow furrowed at the problem and Jack could practically see the cogs in the young man's brain turning as it searched for an answer.

The older man shrugged. "I'm not really sure. But I've been thinking a lot about it since…since the cyberman incident. And all I've come up with is that some of the energy—or whatever it is—transferred over to you when I kissed you."

"Sort of like a small scale meta-crisis," Ianto added.

"Exactly." Jack smiled. While it was no longer a surprise that the two men thought on the same wavelength often, it was still pleasing each time it happened. "As far as I know this is the first time it's happened, for some reason. I guess enough of the extra juice that keeps me going got transferred to you, slightly changing your DNA just enough for you to come back to life."

The younger man nodded thoughtfully. "Makes sense. Though," he added, "it would appear that it managed to change it enough to not only bring me back once, but also give a repeat performance. Which makes me wonder if it is going to be a permanent thing?"

"Would that bother you?" Jack's stomach was in knots anticipating a negative answer.

"You mean, would it bother me to think of spending eternity with you. Don't you, Jack?" he asked. The man nodded, holding his breath in preparation for what he knew would only be the inevitable rejection. "I would only be bothered if it was anyone but you."

The buzzer rang, announcing the arrival of their take-away. As Ianto headed to the door to retrieve it, Jack breathed a sigh of relief. He felt as if a great weight had been removed from his person; that some of the chains around his neck had lifted. Ianto was going to be alright. They could be together. They ate quietly, content in each other's company. Jack took the empty container and chopsticks from the younger man's hands, putting it on the coffee table with his own. Stretching his legs out onto the couch, he patted the space next to him on the cushion.

"Come here," he muttered, guiding Ianto to lie down with his head resting on his chest. He wrapped his arms around the Welshman, pulling him close before nuzzling the top of his head. He breathed in the soft, clean scent of his freshly washed hair. "I'm sorry," he murmured. Ianto hummed in response. "I wanted to say it back. I tried, but it didn't come out." He sighed.

The younger man pressed a kiss to Jack's chest before replying. "It's all right, cariad. I didn't need to hear it; I just needed to make sure you know."

"And now I need to make sure you know."

"Jack," Ianto said, a warning of caution in his voice. He shifted enough to allow himself to look the other man in the eyes. "If you're not certain you shouldn't say it."

"Oh, I am certain. I love you, Ianto Jones. And I'm sorry that you had to die before I could find it in me to say the words out loud. I've said it in my head a thousand times but was too afraid to say it." He laughed sadly. "I thought that not saying it would make it hurt less to lose you, as if not saying it meant it wasn't true. But it didn't. I'm an idiot and should have told you every day from the beginning that I love you. I love you and I am so grateful to have you back."

Ianto smiled fondly. "I love you, too, Jack Harkness." He leaned up, pressing their lips together chastely. "Though," he said with a chuckle, "it's a good thing you didn't say it in the beginning, really. I'd have been a trifle uncomfortable."

Jack laughed his first full laugh since their terrible ordeal had begun days earlier. The sound was booming and precious to hear. It made the younger man too happy to even be annoyed that the laughter was causing him to be jostled around. "You're probably right, there. A 'trifle uncomfortable'."

"I'm usually right," Ianto replied with a grin. Jack smiled back.

"That you are." He wrapped his arms tighter around him, barely leaving any space between them, hardly a hair's width. Ianto, in turn, gently ran his fingers back and forth across the man's ribs, but before long the motion slowed, before coming to a complete stop. The long day and even longer week had begun to truly catch up with him. Jack watched the younger man's breathing begin to slow as he drifted to sleep. He knew that backs and necks would be stiff or sore in the morning if they stayed on the couch, but didn't have the heart to move. "I love you, Ianto," he whispered one more time before leaning his head back and closing his eyes for the night.

* * *

A/n: Thanks for reading, I hoped you like it! A special thanks to the people who have been reading and following for a while now, you know who you are and thank you for the support! I write for myself, but I post it for you!


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